


Good Girl

by Northernlightz06



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, POV Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Parent Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Young Bellatrix Black Lestrange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 15:01:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30006678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northernlightz06/pseuds/Northernlightz06
Summary: Bellatrix Black was a good little girl.
Relationships: Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Rodolphus Lestrange, Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Tom Riddle
Kudos: 2





	Good Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Hi loves! This is just a little Bellatrix POV throughout her life, and kind of humanizing her a bit.   
> CW: child abuse, physical abuse, rape (not explicit)  
> I’m thinking of doing a series of other Death Eaters POV (Peter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, etc) so let me know if that’s something you’d like to see!

1960  
Bellatrix Black was a good little girl. Or at least she tried to be. Being a proper young lady was all that was talked about, so it’s what she did. She had never been perfect in her parents eyes, she was acceptable at best, but she was still probably the favorite. That being to say, there wasn’t a whole lot of affection passed around in that household. There were always things to be fixed. She needed to do perfectly in her studies, but she was not to pursue academics in her free time, if she was too smart, she might want to be independent. She was to be dressed properly at all times, even in her nightdress she had to look presentable at the very least. She was to watch over her two younger sisters, which she didn’t mind, they were the only people she really loved. She was to know how to cook and clean, but always look perfect doing it, so she would one day be the best housewife. There were things that were simply wrong with her in her parents eyes, her voice was too high, her laugh too loud, her smile too ugly. And her hair was the worst. Her raven black ringlets were the bane of her parents' existence. They were declared ‘simply too unruly’ by her parents from a very young age, and she had undergone hours and hours of her head being pulled at and shocked, blown around and slicked down, until her parents had given up, and decided that she was simply to be an ‘ugly brat.’   
Bellatrix was not ugly. Not in any way, she was actually quite beautiful, at least as much as a 7 year old could be. But she wanted her parents approval more than anything. She never stopped wanting that, really. So she had been trying to learn to care for her curls on her own. And one November evening when they were having family over for dinner, she finally put her skills to use, gathering most of her hair into a bun at the base of her head, and letting two curls fall in front of her face. She looked herself up and down in a full length mirror. Her hair was more neatly arranged than ever, a small silver locket hung off of her neck, she wore an elegant knee length black dress, and her new flats were pulled over her white tights. She almost ran to her parents to show them, but remembered her manners and walked calmly instead. When she entered the spacious parlor however, her mother gave her one glance, and simply nodded before ordering her to help get her sisters ready.   
Her face fell. She had worked so hard, but not even one word was said about her appearance. There was nothing she could do, however, so she trudged down the stairs to help her sisters.

This was something she had done many times before, it wasn’t new helping Andromeda into her deep purple dress and Narcissa into her forest green one. She was happy to do it in fact, and prided herself on being trusted enough to get her sisters presentable. After she smoothed out their dresses, she buckled up their flats and started to do their hair, brushing through Andi’s light brown waves to let them cascade down her back, and putting a black headband to smooth them down, and gathering Cissy’s shoulder length silver hair into a small plait. Once they were called by one of their house elves, Bellatrix led them towards the dining room, and told her sisters how to act, not speaking unless spoken to, eating neatly and quietly, and answering questions politely. She always tried to handle the niceties on behalf of the Black children, because she knew how, and it would keep them out of trouble. 

“Auntie Walburga, Uncle Orion, how lovely to see you.”

“Bellatrix, Andromeda, Narcissa, pleasure.” Orion greeted them briefly.

The sisters sat down at the table and began to eat. The purpose of the dinner was to meet their new younger cousin, their aunt and uncle’s new son, Sirius. Bellatrix privately thought to herself that newborns were really quite ugly, this one already had a full head of wavy black hair, and his silver eyes matched his mother’s exactly. He was quite the fussy child, and Bellatrix didn’t like him very much, but when asked she of course said otherwise. There really wasn’t much to be said about a baby, she thought. However the evening dragged on with constant conversation about his future duties as the Black family heir, and when he would be old enough to start beating him as punishment. 

Bellatrix had been beaten for as long as she could remember. She didn’t see why they couldn’t start now.

1962

Bellatrix lay on her bed, her face still wet with tears, and the wounds from her beating still throbbing painfully. Her younger sister was sat next to her with a wet washcloth, soothing her back as well as she could. 

“You should have just let me take the beating, Bella. It was my fault, you didn’t have to step in.”

“No, you’re my little sister, I’m not going to let them do that to you.”

They sat in silence for a couple moments longer.

“But you have to start being more careful, Andi. I can’t keep covering for you. You shouldn’t have interrupted Father like that.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, you just have to watch out. Now get out of here, you can’t be caught with me.”

“I love you, Bella.”

“I love you too, now go.”

1964

Bellatrix stood in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at her black eye and bloody nose.

“Hi Bella, how was sho - oh my god. What happened?”

“It’s my fault, I knocked over a quill and Father had to pay for it. I’m fine.”

“Here, let me clean you up.”

“Thanks, Cissy.”

Narcissa took a washcloth and wiped the blood away from her nose, padded away at the cut on her lip and soothed the bruised eye.

“This is worse than usual, Bel.”

“He was having a bad day and I aggravated him, plus I made a fool of him in public. It’s fine.”

Narcissa sighed. “Anything else?”

“He stubbed out his cigarette on my thigh, I’ll run it under cold water. Now go to bed, Ciss.”

“Alright. You’re sure you don’t need me?”

“I’m good. Sweet dreams.”

“Get some rest, alright?”

“You, too. I love you. Good night.”

“Good night, Bella.”

1964

Bellatrix stood in front of a large train at Kings Cross Station. 

“Now don’t go around mingling with mudbloods and blood traitors, Slytherin house has gone to the dogs since they started letting them in. Do us proud, Bellatrix.”

“Yes, Mother.”

She stepped over to her sisters and pulled them into a tight hug. She whispered in their ears.

“I love you, I’ll miss you, I’ll be fine. See you come Christmas.”

She pulled away to see Narcissa swiping a tear from her eye, and shifted a bit so she would be out of their mother’s view. She didn’t know what would happen to her sisters when she wasn’t there to protect them, and she didn’t want to think about it too much. In three short years they would all be going to school together. But she had to go first. 

And so she did. 

1966

“Come on, Andi. You can sit with me and my friends. Here’s our compartment.”

Bellatrix’s confidence had soared at Hogwarts, and she was thrilled to share it with her sisters. Andi was coming this year, and the next year Narcissa would follow.   
She was no longer ashamed of her looks. She wore dresses that showed off the curves she had, wore half her hair in a loose bun and let the rest of the curls bounce on her shoulders, and wore a bit of makeup to accentuate her naturally sharp features. She was the object of many boy’s fantasies, but let none of them become a reality. She was more content to walk around school knowing that people were looking, without giving them the pleasure of sparing them a second glance. She was quite popular among the pureblood Slytherins, and had developed a motto for herself that she would give to her sisters and probably her younger cousins once they were old enough. “Walk into Hogwarts like you own the place. You’re a Black, you probably do.”  
It had been quite successful. Not only was she doing well socially, she also had top marks, particularly in Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts. She was never much one for quidditch, though she was good on a broom, and could absolutely make the team if she tried.   
And now that she could keep an eye on at least one of her younger sisters, everything seemed to be falling into place. 

Andromeda was sorted into Slytherin of course, and eagerly sat beside her sister for the feast. Bella was proud of her little sister, and couldn’t wait until Cissa joined them to make it all right. 

1967

Narcissa was sorted into Slytherin as expected, and would be moving into Bellatrix and Andromeda’s dorm. It felt good to have both her girls under her wing for good, especially because of the bruises she had healed on the train, spanning across Narcissa’s arms. Things were going well, and while Bellatrix loved school already, it would be made infinitely less difficult if she didn’t have to worry about what was happening back home. 4th year would be a good one, she could tell.

1968

Bellatrix stood in front of the bathroom mirror. She looked a mess. She wore nothing but her bra and underwear, her makeup was streaming down her face, still wet with tears. Her hair had been ripped out of the style she had it up in and was sticking out at all angles. She poked at her already brushing ribs. She could feel the cracks. When she got back from winter holiday she would try to heal them herself, she couldn’t risk going to Madam Pomfrey. She ran her fingers across the handprint on her hip. 

“You’ll be a good girl, and do what I say. They can’t hear you.” Her uncle’s words rang through her head. She tried to shake them off. 

“Give me a Christmas present, won’t you Bella?”

“Such a pretty girl.”

“Just hold still”

“Isn’t that nice?”

“You know you can’t use magic at home, dear.”

“Hold still or I’ll make you.”

“You were so good for me, Bella.”

“Our secret, right?”

The words echoed and overlapped in her mind, she was reeling, her heart was racing, she thought she might throw up. 

“Bella? You alright?” someone called through the door. 

“Is Uncle Orion gone?”

“He just left, why?”  
She didn’t answer.

“What’s going on?”

“Just go away, Andi.”

“Are you okay, Bel? Do you need help?”

“Just leave.”

“Bella, if he-“

“Get out!”

“I…”  
After a pause, footsteps padded away. 

She sat down to go to the bathroom, and then started to cry again.

She was bleeding.

She quickly put a pad on, washed her face and stepped into her rumpled clothes. She still looked a mess, but she might be able to get to her room undisturbed. 

But her room was next to Andromeda’s, who was standing in the hallway. 

“Bella, what’s wrong?” she asked calmly. She held a hand out to grab her sister’s wrist but she pulled away panicked.

“Don’t touch me!” 

Andromeda looked surprised. Simple gestures of affection between the sisters weren’t uncommon, so it was quite unusual for Bellatrix to respond that way, but she didn’t care. She just pushed past her sister into her room, sat on her bed and cried.

People like to say it was the inbreeding in her family that drove her mad. It wasn’t, not really. 

1971

“He’s a disgrace to the family.”

“He’s eleven, Bella. It’s not like he chose what house to be sorted into. Maybe he’s just naturally brave.”

“You know as well as I do that he’s nothing but a troublemaker. Blacks are not sorted into Gryffindor.” 

“Maybe it’s time things changed a little, you know?”

“500 years every Black has been in Slytherin.”

“Exactly, Bel. 500 years is a long time. It’s not the end of the world if Blacks start to have individual personalities. He’s already getting enough shit from his parents about this, you don’t need to harass him.”

“Why are you taking his side here?”

“I’m not taking anyone’s side. But the sorting hat’s decision is final, and it hasn’t made a mistake yet. I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s talking to that Pettigrew boy, right? He’s a pureblood.”

“Hardly. That family is seething with squibs.”

“Just leave it alone, there’s nothing you can do.”

“You know Cissy told me she saw you with that Tonks boy.”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Why would you associate yourself with him?”

“We’re just partners in potions.”

“He’s a mudblood.”

“Who is my potions partner.”

“You shouldn’t be seen with him. Why would you voluntarily speak with him?”

“Because he’s sweet, and funny, and kind, ok?! I’m not talking about this anymore, good night, Bella.”

“Blood traitor isn’t a good look on you. Sort out your priorities, Drom.”

1972

“You will be betrothed to Rodolphus Lestrange.”

Bellatrix let out a sigh of relief. Rodolphus was definitely not the worst man.   
Black women used to have more of a say in their marriages, but ever since Andromeda had gotten engaged and been disowned, standards were even higher for her sisters. Her mother had even tried to engage Narcissa and their 12 year old cousin Sirius, but she managed to convince her about her boyfriend Lucius.   
Now her parents were rushing to get their two remaining daughters married in a panic. Bellatrix knew her wedding would be in only a few months, but she really didn’t care. She would make it an extravagant day about her, maybe she’d even get along with her husband. She’d start her life as a proper married lady. It was the only thing that had been set out for her her entire life, and it was the only thing she expected. That was alright. 

1973

Bellatrix’s marriage was loveless, boring, and pointless. Other than her reputation, Rodolphus had nothing to offer her really. They never got along, their sex life was almost non existent, and they generally stayed on completely different sides of their house.   
Then she met Tom.

Tom was an older man, a powerful wizard, who promised Bellatrix he could make her powerful as well. He was charming and handsome, and the pair became quite close. He shared her beliefs, and was one of the first people who made her feel loved. And who she loved herself. It was nothing like her husband, he listened to her, and joked with her, and helped her improve her magic.   
She probably would have done anything for him, so when he asked her to get a mark on her arm and round up others to help him, she agreed. When he said he wanted to help her perfect her Cruciatus curse, she happily started lessons. When he asked her to try to get the sword of Gryffindor from Hogwarts, she did. Try, at least.   
When he started to gain power, she was happy for him. She stayed by his side happily, because she was so incredibly in love with him, and she thought he was too. She drove herself insane doing anything and everything for him.   
She was excited to see her sister’s husband at meetings, and then her younger cousin Regulus.   
And then her cousin’s old friend, Peter. She was surprised, but pleased. And when he gave the information from the inside on how they could bring down Dumbledore once and for all, she was almost giddy. This was going to be fun. 

1981

Tom was dead. The man she loved was dead. She could not believe it. She was heartbroken. They said it was over. Everything she had worked for, everything she had loved, was over.

1982  
Torturing the Longbottoms had been fun, though probably not worth it, she thought to herself. Azkaban wasn’t much fun, but she managed. She was already a little off her rocker before prison, so the added insanity didn’t hurt much. But she kept some of her wits, because she had a goal. Get out. Bring him back. 

1996  
Killing Sirius had been quite satisfying. Seeing her cousin get what he deserved and watching his dear godson pay for it was exciting in a sick sort of way, though everything Bellatrix did was in a sick sort of way now. Her excitement at the Dark Lord’s return lasted quite a while, it was always thrilling to come back and see him alive once again, even if he was different. She was different too, after all. Everything was different, but she couldn’t seem to bring herself to care.

1998

The last time that Bellatrix felt real joy, the kind that you and I feel, not the sick twisted joy of insanity, but a real, clear, human emotion, was February 21st, 1998, as she held her newborn daughter to her chest in the cellar of Malfoy Manor. After a fun night the previous summer with her old love, she had just pushed out a beautiful baby girl, and her head was the clearest it had been in years. All she felt was intense love and protectiveness towards this little child, and she was looking forward to years of watching her grow up. She was going to be an incredibly powerful witch, being the daughter of Bellatrix and the Dark Lord himself. But that didn’t matter right now. All that mattered was little Delphi in her arms. Her Delphini.

1998

Bellatrix was dead. Most people wouldn’t give that a second thought. She was a death eater, quite frankly insane, and didn’t have much to offer the world. Everyone thought that any but of empathy and emotion she had left was flickered out by Azkaban, leaving her soulless. But that wasn’t the case. The love she had for her sisters, for Tom, and for her daughter was buried deep in her heart, completely closed off by years and years of building walls around her vulnerability. But the piece of her soul that was left was still there, even if it wasn’t accessible.  
It was better that she was dead, being honest. Her time on earth was not well spent, and by the end she was in pain, and alone. While it wasn’t exactly what Molly had in mind at the time, letting her rest had been a kind thing to do. She had nothing left to accomplish on earth. So it was ok, in the end. Not really, but it was something.   
Bellatrix Black Lestrange was not a good person. But she was a person.  
She got dealt a bad hand, and used it for evil. Her actions were unforgivable. But she was a sister, a mother, and a person. She deserves that we acknowledge that.


End file.
